Touched By An Angel II

A locked door in a corner of the room
Is where my feelings for you are kept

A window facing the sea
Is where I look out everytime I think of you

An old apartment at the end
Is where I was and will be waiting for you

A worn out shirt in my closet
Is what that reminds me of our short time together

A time which I dearly cherish in my heart
A wish to see you once again before my life ends

Dear God, may I cross the vast ocean someday...
Dear God, may fate has it that we'll meet again one day...
Dear God, may I remember her face till the very end...
Dear God, may she always be happy and find true love...
Dear God, may her life be blessed forever...

Touched By An Angel I

My life is brilliant
Brilliance in its simplicity
My love is pure
Pure and sincere but untouched
I saw an angel of whom
My life and love she took away
Of that I'm sure

She smiled at me
A radiant smile, a beautiful sight
She was with another man
An unpleasant surprise
The ring on her hand says it all
These weren't part of my plan
For I'll hang on till the end

She's beautiful
She's beautiful its true
I saw her face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with her

She caught my eye
As I walked on by
That moment left me flying high
But I don't think that I'll see her again
The distance setting us apart
Though we shared a moment
That'll last till the end

My life was brilliant...
My love was pure...
I've been touched by an angel
Who has came and left

A Difficult Farewell

The flight back home slipped into an endless passage of time
High above the clouds but weighed with emotions aplenty
Left behind a baggage full of memories, a souvenir of love

A trip that completes my story, an ending seemingly perfect
If my determination fail and I call your name, breaking the silence
Should I refrain myself or follow my heart?

Looking at you from afar, always a safe distance away
A voice that is struggling to escape from my heart
Your eyes, always keeping me from secrecy
Thrust into confusion, stabbed by depression
Never can I forget

Convincing myself that you'll be better off without me
Perhaps I never meant much to you, just a part of your memory
Are you nothing to me, or do I love you too much to give you up
Farewell to you, farewell to my feelings...
Gone with the wind

Remember that I once came into your life
Remember that I once loved you
For I'll always remember what you mean to me...

Clockwise

An aimless wander amidst rain-drenched air,
Sadness lingers in his tired soul.
Picking up the pieces of his life
Remains of heartbreaks, fading into the past.

Mustering up his courage,
He forces himself into the passage of time.
Looking out of the window for that long awaited guiding light,
Waiting for a fresh breath of air...
Just waiting.

The fairytale in his memory
Never existed in his reality
Everything that love shouldn't be.
Yet his world had been trodden, stolen,
Promises broken...
What's left for him?

He lingers in his own fairytale in solitude,
Keeping faith, holding on
Knowing that he could never turn back the hands of time.
Helpless, every part of him is swept away with the wind
Memories gradually forgotten with time.

A setback no doubt, he wanted to pick himself up
To start the fairytale all over.
Well he never quite made it,
Maybe fairytales never existed in the beginning...

Perhaps, just perhaps, deep down in him
He knew choosing the lonely path is the easier way of life for him.


The never-ending wait still continues,
Rays of the sun seeps down on him.
The rain has been long forgotten along with love's illusion,
Fading eventually...

Humble Beginnings

The last time I mentioned how long I haven't been blogging resulted in me not blogging for a period of about 4 months so I guess I shall not mention the lapse in this entry. Perhaps I've been too busy (lazy rather) to blog every single detail of my 'interesting' life since that February entry. Well, most of my weekends have been all about shooting pool, watching and playing soccer and managing my great Man Utd team in Football Manager 2005. Yes, that's what my life has been revolving about. I did not take this four months to search for a partner, to the great disappointment of all my faithful readers, which I suspect the numbers has dipped after looking at the same February entry for 4 months. That should take the original number of 8 to about 3. Anyway, that shouldn't be a surprising statistic since blogs are such a common sight these days, with some of them even making the news.

This has been one hell of a stumbling block in my attempt to blog after a period of inactivity. Blogs everywhere are displaying more than just words alone. You get pictures, animations and even nude pictures as I found out recently. That's asking too much of my poor ol' blog and furthermore, I have to admit that I lack plenty of knowledge in these things. One of my faithful reader then pointed out that what my blog lacks in colours and sounds, it makes up with its content and excellent english. If only he was among those people at SPH recruiting talent, I might have been chosen for that Journalism Scholarship. (The rejection came in the form of a letter in March, another reason why I had lost my motivation in blogging.) Well, I guess in life, you just have to take things as they come.

With that hefty piece of summary of the last four months, I'm now a slightly different person and so has my blog. Now humble for its simplicity and its tiny readership of less than five people, namely Jolin, Jerome, sometimes Nicholas, Fabius rarely and an occasional visit of an unknown Tom, Dick or Harry who lost his way navigating through the Internet. Also with the encouragement of another avid reader Jolin, I decided to come out of the shadows in order no to disappoint them and of course, ultimately myself, for this is my passion and fruit of my labour.

Amidst the last four months, I had also found my other passion, driving. Having only started in early May, I didn't know what I was missing out on only when I began jamming the accelerator of the learner car in the school's circuit. It could be natural talent or interest or perhaps a mixture of both, the 33 lessons were a breeze for me and I finished them within 5 weeks. Even some instructors were amazed when they saw my progress book. Now, I can safely say that owning a car will be a priority of mine in the near future, way above getting a wife. In fact, my future car will be my first wife, not second as most people phrase it. The only thing to do now is to thoroughly convince the tester of my driving skills on 25 July and after that, work towards my goal of owning a Mitsubishi Evolution IX! Maybe till then after I passed, I may have to make do with my dad's trusty Suzuki Liana. Well, of course also not forgetting to work towards continuing this precious humble blog of mine...

Shocks and Misses of Life

It has been a very long time since I've last did an entry. Last time I blogged, memories of the new year and christmas festive season were still lingering around my head. The reason being, firstly to give myself a well deserved break after plenty of blogging in the weeks before and secondly to sort myself out and see for myself what kind of year will it be for me. Sad to say, nothing constructive has been achieved this while. There were comings and goings, happenings, events worth remembering and of course some not. Being the ignorant person, I remained very much indifferent to whatever that's going on, partly feeling quite helpless to do anything. This can lead to a pretty boring life, one that I'm used to by now.

About half the people in my bunk are gone by now, posted out elsewhere. Though no longer together, we knew the friendship and brotherhood forged from our time together will keep us as good friends. This major change in my life brought about another minor change physically. Leaving my old bed for greener pastures, I settled for a cosier one at the corner of the room, now vacated after my friend left. I have equipped it with speakers and tons of pleasant pictures, mainly of Rui En, Jeanette Aw and friends. One friend even pointed out to me that I have even made it cosier than my own room. Well, since I have to stick it through for two bloody years, I might as well make it a comfortable stay.

While away, I've been attempting to catch up with many of the movies I missed in 2004 and boy, did I miss out on a bunch of wonderful flicks. Rented Shrek both 1 & 2, Harold and Kumar, Lost In Translation etc. Somehow, after watching Shrek, I think it best sums up my next shocker. Though I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, my sister had half-heartedly mentioned that I should not be that disheartened about relationships and stuff. Even Shrek, being big, fat, ugly and green, has Lady Luck and Cupid working together for him in getting Princess Fiona. Kind of her to cheer me up and bring me some hope but I really did ponder about my chances with a pretty girl after watching Shrek. Then the bomb dropped on me. No, I did not hook up with a pretty girl but the so-called "right" girl I knew had pulled off a Princess Fiona. My friend was the messenger who broke this piece of disappointing news. Absolute shocker and knocked me out cold like a sucker-punch. I just hope that he isn't big, fat, ugly and green for her sake and mine but I do know for one that he is rather, rather... well, mature. THAT too, depleted my ideas and interest in blogging for awhile. But anyway...

Talking about fat, almost about everyone I know are quite harsh with their words these days. Except for a friend or two and my 'luohan' fish, the rest have been going on with how I have somehow grown bigger blah blah. "Oh aren't you in the army? My, you look bigger!" or "Wow, you look large now..." have greeted me everywhere. I anticipate a substantial increase in these rude comments come this chinese new year, with me seeing more of my relatives whom many of them I know are quite frank. As long I know what I've been doing, I feel I have no need to explain to the world nor feel guilty for my increase in size, especially if I've been pumping lots of iron and presses the past month(thanks to Princess Fiona and the ever maturing Shrek).

One good thing did come out of the past month though and that was Man United beating the hell out of those arrogant arses of Arsenal. I didn't thought we had a chance at Highbury but we came out tops 4-2! It was fantastic to see the look of resignation and despair on all those Arsenal players and of course, Wenger. Now to kick some rich blue asses with just 9 points between us... We have to show that money can't buy success.

Life's never easy and the going gets tough sometimes, things happen, you meet nice people and you meet bad ones too. Expect everything to happen. Turning 20 this year now, its time for me to sort life out. I guess everything here can be summed up by the words on my Nike wristband which has been with me ever since I got it from my friend, "LIVESTRONG".

Re-Solutions and Horrorscope

So here I find myself raring to go in 2005. Somehow or rather, I've got a sneaky feeling that this year may not turn out well for me again. Life never fails to disappoint, does it? Perhaps, just perhaps, my life will start proper once 2006 beckons but thats another 365 days to go. Coincidentally, I get to convert back into a civillian too when that happens but to be exact, I've got roughly about 504 days of my life to waste away in the useless military but who's counting anyway? A brand new fresh start as they say for this brand new year. It is during this period of time when most people start to put their lives into perspective. Having witnessed and experienced all that our life brought to us the year before, this is the time for us to put things correct again and not let history repeat itself. Which is why I guess people have a habit of making resolutions in the new year.

However, new year resolutions are not something that I'm exactly very keen on. Mine have always been broken year after year without fail. And when the year is about to come to an end, I'll begin to regret all that I've set out but fail to do. To put things simply this year and to be kind to myself, I shall not make any resolutions but just hope to live life happily no matter how it may turn out to be.

Another aspect which people will definitely look at every new year would be their respective outlook for their horoscope. Regardless of the different references available, they provide a detailed summary of what to expect, avoid etc. All in all, it just eases our mind and calm our heart when it comes to expecting the unexpected, especially in a new year. No matter what horoscope you belong, there's bound to be something really good to look forward to in the year, which is why I find some horoscope predictions pretty ridiculous. This is one for Gemini which I read from 8 Days not too long ago...

Gemini
Your romantic stars are in top form until October. As the year progresses, your social life begins to connect up with your work - could it be that romance is brewing on the professional front? It is certainly indicated that personal relationships will be a critical factor in the success of developments at work. Like the grain of sand in the oyster that produces the pearl, so does friction have its own creative potential as love blossoms in unexpected areas.

I was amazed and stunned upon reading that. Well for starters, I'm a full-time national serviceman for god's sake. If what they say is accurate, I'm either turning into a really obnoxious homosexual or I'm about to fall for the aunty serving me food at the cookhouse. I really don't think I'll fall in love with my commanders even if I'm a desperate case. With most of them being regulars, they are the last thing that I'll ever want to get close to. Hmm... very worrying indeed. This may explain my bad luck with the opposite sex all this while. Unless I ever get a miraculous change of occupation this year (which is highly unlikely) or a gorgeous lady signs on for the military (which is quite impossible too) and get posted to my camp, I really hope that was a wrong call.

Rewind 2004

Here I am, spending the last minutes of a dull and depressing 2004, compiling the happenings and memories of the past year as I cross into a new 2005. A night of peace and serenity, away from the rowdy and noisy horde of people who prefer spending the night counting down with millions of unknown people, save for the few of their friends. Well, not that I belong to the anti-social kind but I somehow feel that there isn't much to celebrate for anyway. We should spare a thought for those affected by the tsunami disaster, missing and dead alike, those whose homes and families wrecked in an instant. A sad way to end 2004, lost as they head into 2005. Right, here is my 2004...

Jan
The beginning of a new year, looking forward to life after 12 years of education. Just came back from a Bangkok trip with two other friends and looking forward to the well-deserved and long break ahead. Casting the thought of enlisting into the military away from my head as I enthusiastically start work at Carrefour as a cashier.
Feb
Midway through the long break, work fatigue starts to take its toll on me. Enjoyed the festivities during Chinese New Year though. A slightly different Valentine's Day from last year as I just went through a breakup not long ago. Assigned to guide and teach a new cashier at work nearing the end of February. This was how I met R. Dreaded the arrival of March.
Mar
Left Carrefour and R a week into March due to the damn enlistment at the end of the month. Promised myself to keep in contact with her no matter what. Arranged a memorable KTV session with close friends to "see" me off. As far as I know, life for me ended on the 30th of March, 2004 at 1400 hrs. Gone with it, my civillian identity, my ability to make sense and my freedom. Hated the Singapore Arm Forces to the core.
Apr - Jun
Little idea of what happened in my life throughout this time. Lost touch of reality and life. Seem to be in a limbo, whether in camp or out free. An unwilling prisoner of cruel and senseless measures. Its a wonder that I even survived the seemingly impossible BMT. Graduated at last but suffered a back injury in late May. Got R a birthday gift on May 7th. Turned 19 on May 30th. Passed out of BMT in June.
Jul - Aug
Initially had the idea that life after BMT could be much better and the misconception that BMT is just about it. Got posted to a pretty old and rundown unit as an engineer. Life couldn't be much worse, could it? Determined to fight for a better life and vocation too, could not bear the thought of spending another 2 years as an engineer. A vocation with the logistics department would be more humane. Got downgraded due to medical condition in August and became a store logistician. Started this blog in August after a long absence.
Sept - Oct
Adapting to life as a storeman slowly but surely. Not as depressed as before when in the early days. Sent for a couple of logistics tasks along with the unit when they were out for exercises and learnt to get by. Celebrated birthdays too as they came quick and fast, especially at this period. Also, a memorable September too as I was presented with the exclusive opportunity to know a wonderful and lovely girl, Right Girl as I call her.
Nov - Dec
Tagged along with the unit as they went on a real mission cum operation at Jurong Island. Quite an eye-opener and also a good assignment as we get off days every alternate day. Concluded in mid November and was to get a change of vocation at the end of November. Now known as an armskoteman, in charge of the store for weapons. Much more risky and dangerous but took it in my stride with not much fuss. No big deal anyway, its not as if I get to walk out away from military life. Plenty of work to do in the armskote and adapted to a different beat along with my new partner at work. Had a lonely Christmas. Celebrated it by walking down town with a close friend of mine, admiring the lightings and night scenery. Finished up the year 2004 by completing this rewind. A happy 2005 to myself and anyone reading still reading up till this last sentence...

May 2005 be better for all of us, and the world.