I was aghast to learn of the "new and improved" tactics being undertaken by girls to reject advances of guys these days, mainly guys who reveal a hint of interest in them. It is quite disheartening to know that almost anybody and everybody (especially guys) can be susceptible to such shocking "ill-treatment". This came about after two female friends shared their experiences and one of them even went so far as to seek my assistance after persistent irritation from a guy. Coincidentally, both girls are named X and Y - X gave the impression of the more direct and in-your-face attitude whereas Y was the more discreet method. Hoping that I can probably learn something, I kept an open attitude and gave them a listening ear and my full co-operation.
Well, X gave me her extremely interesting version of her "misfortune". According to her, there was this guy who was and still is crazy about her since college, and has been madly showing his affection for her in many ways (repeated but unsuccessful attempts to ask her out, constant concern shown via sms, tons of gifts from his overseas stint while serving the country etc). So much effort (I could feel his sincerity) and all he gets is "I can only be friends with you."
On another occasion, just as I was about to leave the lecture theatre, Y tugged at my hand and whispered "Hey, if that guy there asks me to go somewhere after this, tell him I've got a project meeting with you k? Please..." It was a desperate plea for help, to escape the monster's clutches. Left without a choice, I agreed. Another cruel blow dealt to a poor guy's heart. Talking about cruel blows to the heart... I had unknowingly became a clear target in the process of carrying out my observations.
The "tactics" involved in my story was more subtle, requiring a keen eye for clues sprinkled here there and everywhere. Uninterested responses coupled with plenty of self-initiated conversations, lack of enthusiasm shown summed up with "evasive" action taken. Even Dad contributed his share after his careful and detailed observation of a particular second party (I demote myself to being the third party). Dad's reports were intelligently based on the traditional household gossip kind but being able to witness the scene first-hand added that little bit of reliability in it. I bet Dad had no idea that the impact of his "sightings" will have such a huge influence on me (having effectively diminishing the possibility of him carrying a grandchild in future... : ) but seriously). The writing is on the wall and the joke is on me. With the exams lurking around the corner, it is time for a clean break from such entanglements from such obvious clues thrown at my face. "On this day I see clearly; everything has come to light..."
Lessons learnt:
1. Don't trust anybody. (D.T.A quoting Jackie Chan from one of his movies) - especially when it comes to situations involving the opposite gender.
2. Try not to be the weakest link (in the web of relations). - i.e. the third link or beyond in a social relationship. Modern structures are hierarchical. A dyad is definitely intimate than a triad.
3. There is a reason why Friendster is on the net. - avoid creating a real life Friendster situation. More often than not, middleman gets the best bargains.
4. Hunt for your own food. - it is the survival of the fittest. Learn to depend on yourself and get everything (and I mean everything) done yourself. To each his own.
5. 近水楼台先得月(chinese proverb) - he who is closer to the apple tree gets all the apples.
6. Try to own a car, if not, beg, steal, share etc. - everything is possible with a vehicle. Plus, it attracts attention (especially members of the opposite gender).
7. Make the best out of every opportunity. - when a chance presents itself, grab it with both hands and legs if you have to. Bring her out, fetch her to wherever, do what you can, even if it is out of your limits. A handsome reward awaits.
8. A friend in need makes you a fool indeed. - derived from Jackie's motto from No. 1 lesson. Enuff said.
Turning and walking away isn't the easiest thing to do in the world. But, I will have to learn to that, as painful as it may be, for the pain amplifies with each passing moment that I dwell in such false hope. My self-fulfilling prophecy has came true indeed, proving that sociology is right yet again. October 28th was a dream come true, and it also marked an end to my pursuit. It was a day that shall be remembered forever as a sweet memory and an honour for me to have her as company to a wonderful event. Time to move on...
Good luck for my exams.
