Choosing Not To...

Sigh... Sometimes I wish my parents would just be quiet and not share everything they see. It just worsens my state of mind and pains my heart, being able to know so much yet there's absolutely nothing I can do about it but to take a bystander's role. Ignorance IS bliss. Yet, the sadist in me yearns for such news, for it is only through word that I am able to be near you. It is a real pity, for I know that you're within my midst but the sensibility within me knows better than to give in to temptation to see you. Everytime that you await, everytime that you're afraid of "it"... Mixed emotions fill my heart.
Maybe time is the best antidote. The agony of missing out and losing the chance to be with you will ease gradually. Breaking away from this complex realm, I seek solace in the world of music, find comfort in beautiful words and lyrics. Losing you has made me cherish other little things in life which I have neglected while being blinded by infatuation. Choosing not to love and walking away will make me a more mature person. I chanced upon these wonderful words while surfing on 百度 website... my first chinese entry!

任何一种心情，都可以找一首歌来代替。听歌的人欣赏沿途的风景，却不忘感受耳机里的浪漫；听歌的人细数着昨日的失落，却也不忘重燃起背后的烟火；听歌的人观赏着别人的故事，却在音乐声中回味着自己的经历。一个没有影子的人生多少都会觉得孤单，虽然从未注意自己的影子，一个失去了音乐的人生多少都会觉得平淡，虽然从没有把音乐当成大于生命来看待。

爱，从来就是一件百转千回的事情，令人柔肠寸断。我爱她，却犹犹豫豫，踌躇不决。为我送朵花给她，为我写封信给她，为我陪她数星星……而我的心，愿为她成为最亮的星，送给她。想要陪在她身边永远照顾她，却隔着万水千山，无能为力。爱上她，才体会到思念的滋味、分离的愁苦，间或有情非得已的懦弱和无助。所以只能告诉他：我爱她。

朋友和恋人，也许只有一线之隔，但有时却举步维艰，无法跨越那道爱的界限。进一步，害怕打碎朋友间默契的感觉，退一步，却又不甘心无法触碰你的笑脸。有一种感觉，深埋在心底，无法承认，无法掩饰，无法接受却又无法拒绝。无能为力，我选择了逃避，决定不爱。

快阻止时间倒转，当我们再次遇见
这样的表情最适合隐瞒，我依然爱你很深
别再多看我一眼
别试探我真的感觉
我怕认不出又会重眷恋
你连背影都温柔

不爱就转身离开
一个人把回忆推翻
不爱 for the love 未来
你和我的信任我也不回来

不容许陷害前伴，误解了别离的悲
不可能送来这遗憾的爱，我们都真实对白

不爱就这么离开
一个人被寂寞煎伴
不爱只守着被爱
i love you forever
不能说出来

不爱就转身离开
一个人我学会忍耐
不爱去那找被爱
i love you forever
微笑着离开
i love you forever
就这样不爱

（陶喆-不爱 专辑:太美丽）