Thoughts on the Final Day of my 22nd year
Another semester comes to an end, and come to think of it, I will be year 3 when the next semester starts... heck, I am not even sure if my second year was successful. I finally decided to do something meaningful (like blogging) only now, even though my day of liberation arrived on the 8th of May. Reason being that I very much wanted to be able to laze around and indulge in a time which I could really call my own, after the exertions of another crazy semester, academically and personally, psychologically, emotionally and mentally, I was drained.
So for the past two weeks, it has been random net surfing, reading local community forums (which can be very informative and resourceful), watching DVDs, religiously following the serial drama every night (which is extremely addictive), playing PS3, brushing up and aiming to improve my Japanese language, becoming a tennis freak and training up physically, which is a great way to release pent-up frustrations. Of course, I have been busy job-hunting too, upon seeing so many of my friends doing something important this break, be it internships, part-time jobs or projects etc. Occasionally, a feeling of guilt and shame will overcome me, after analysing how "useless" I am. Fingers-crossed, I hope to land myself a temporary assignment before June starts.
Forced circumstantially and out of habit, I would like to review this period of life semester by semester. First of all, it is a good way to ensure that I do not forget many of those events that made me and broke me, and that I have to learn. This developmental stage method can be quite useful. Secondly, it gives me a good excuse not to update my blog every once in a while. And from what happened to a blogger who was arrested recently, it seems that not blogging too often can be a good thing after all.
Well, for a semester that had promised so much, it has nearly ended in tatters. I use the word nearly, for everything hangs on my results, which will be released next week (coincidentally, on my 23rd birthday). It does seem that I should be on course for greatness this semester, seeing how my projects had panned out, with A's and A-'s obtained in every piece of assignment and project (except for tourism), but you can never be too sure of any outcome for it ain't over till the fat lady sings.
For now, I am just glad to be able to experience everything that comes my way and not bother myself too much or being too obsessed with chasing the impossible. The natural disasters in Myanmar, especially the China earthquake, has reminded me about the fragility of life and how everything can be taken away in an instant. Being alive and able to experience life fully is a gift in itself. What is meant to be, will eventually be. Forcing the matter will just not work out at all and may even bite you back. I think what matters is to be at peace with yourself, accept eventualities, for whatever you do, it is damned if you do and damned if you don't, which is how 变奏曲 "Rhythm of Life" depicts the pervasive effect of decisions made by an individual.
On the eve of the long-awaited and long-dreaded 30th of May, I guess this is what I have learnt in my 22nd year of existence. Of all, I feel the biggest blessing for me is to be able to learn Sociology and really understand the subtle mysteries of social life, reinforcing my stand, after a lengthy consideration of my circumstances, that I would most probably remain a withdrawn social participant yet being observant and analytical to the smallest details.
Another year older, another year of youth diminished, another year experienced, another year closer to the end...
Happy 23rd Birthday to me.
