Of Birthdays and Headaches

Somehow, I feel this period of time between mid-August and September has not been very kind to me. Don't get me wrong, it is not due to the impasse between Starhub Cable and ESPN. Neither is it due to the dumb out-camp training I am involved with at a camp whose facilities belong to the 80s. Its just that the scatter of friends that I know happen to celebrate their birthdays during this period. Add my father to that growing list and it just adds up to one big headache. The pain in my head grows as fast as the hole in my pocket. Worse still, the question of what to get them is what bothers me the most. It sure feels good when you are on the receiving end of such pampering but all is taken away from you when the onus is on you to shower your friends with what they deserve.

Will it be appropriate if their birthday gift is of some similarity to yours, be it in terms of monetary value or form? What does he really wants? What if he sees the exact same thing in a clearance sale at an abandoned warehouse? These questions pound my head further. Sure enough there goes a saying "Its the thought that counts." If that is the case, it would have been enough if I ever remembered their birthdays. At least I THOUGHT of them. Somehow or rather, the words of that particular saying brings with it a whole new meaning these days. A little token of appreciation have to be accompanied with your so-called thought. My task could be simplified if the "token of appreciation" was purely judged on how much I actually appreciated the particular receiver of my gifts.

This topic was brought up for discussion over lunch about a week ago. My dad's opinion of things could certainly teach me a thing or two. Since this irritating question pops up every now and then, some advice should come in handy. "Gifts are, in fact, not that important when it comes to birthdays..." my father paused as he took a bite of his dim-sum delicacy. "What matters most is the way that you normally treat your friends, especially those that are closer to you. If you and your friend spend enough quality time and your friendship is built upon years of trust and understanding, a simple birthday greeting on his special day will do. Look at me and my long time buddy. I have known Chew for over 20 years now and birthday or special occasions never did pose many problems for us. After all its the thought that counts." That last sentence rang a bell in my head.

Digesting my father's pieces of information, I sensed what he said had some truth in it. Remembering a friend's birthday just for the sake of remembering depreciates the thought. The value of your thought would have been far greater if you remember a friend's birthday because of the solid friendship that have been built over time. You want to remember and celebrate because this person means much to you. With that, I realised that my problems have been lifted. Mentally erasing some of the unsuitable names from my list, I was left with a few friends that was worth the thought AND the present. I became convinced that this would be money well spent for friends that I truly cared for.

Out of sheer curiosity, I asked dad another question. "Well then... So do you remember Uncle Chew's birthday?" he stared down at his half drunk chinese tea and thought hard about it. "Hmm... I don't really remember..." came a confused reply. Well, so much for the thought of a close friend.

(But my memory's better though, so here's to those mentioned... Happy belated Birthday to Nicholas, same for Tomas, Qingwei and Xuehan. Happy Birthday to Jerome a.k.a Jay, Cassandra and of course my father. Happy Birthday Dad...)

Murmurs Of The Shameless In The Dark

I have never been quite able to figure certain people out. Call me simple but I reckon that some of these shady creatures are not as simple as we make them out to be. They could even be more eerie than "those that we don't speak of". As such, they might be compelled to find hideaous coveralls that provides more room than those flimsy red ones in "The Village", considering the amount of behind-your-back deeds they intend to carry out. I discovered this when a trusty buddy of mine let me in on some precious info that I missed out while he was present at a gathering in which I was supposed to be present too (but I've got more important things to do, like watching the NDP parade).

"Hey, you know, S mentioned something about you and your ex at our gathering? Damn funny man... Got the whole class laughing..." he broke the news to me unwittingly. S never quite gave me a good impression during college days. Being the smart girl that she is, she tends to know too much of info, most of them which rendered quite useless. Blessed with smouldering looks, crystal-like eyes and porcelain skin, she got the adrenaline of many males pumping whenever she passes by. She too managed to keep abreast (no pun intended) of the latest gossip or rumour with her female counterparts. The latest released by her happened to hit bestseller with my classmates but for me it was like a stab in the dark.

According to her reliable resources, her friend-cum-spy-cum-busybody reportedly witnessed me sending my ex-girlfriend home. This sounds suspicious as the last time I severed ties with my ex-girl was during ancient times and by releasing this piece of news only now, one can wonder how reliable and accurate her sources are. Following that, she claimed that I had instructed the taxi-driver to drop her off at the main road juncture and left her to walk the remaining journey back home. It put me in really bad light. If I was really the scrooge that she made me out to be, I would have invited my ex to walk all the way home. Or similarly, I could have brought S along to irritate the taxi driver with her blabber mouth till he gets so mad that he orders us off his vehicle. Considering her exclusive gossiping talent, I am certain that she can last me the entire journey from Orchard to Tuas.

Being the reasonable person that I am, I refrained myself from going into any personal battle with her. Instead, I gathered my thoughts, pondering over what could have caused such a fabricated and outlandish outburst from that girl. Three possible reasons surfaced:
a. She bore a grudge against me.
b. She began to resemble her new pet puppy, a female one at that.
c. She was not in the right state of mind when she spoke those words.

From what I figure, I suppose option C would be the most suitable explanation for her actions. Perfection has never been a known trait that existed within mankind. When our actions somehow go wrong, our state of mind becomes the axis of our little crime. It is never easy, whether controlling our thoughts, speech or action, especially when all these can affect interpersonal relationships. People say it is a jungle out there and jungle survival has never been more important. From this particular incident, all I can say is while we are out there, beware of a shady, hideaous creature in a red hood lurking among the trees. It may turn out to be a psychotic rumour-wielding person who is out to harm you... "Those that we don't speak of".

An Inspiration to Life

Simplicity at its very best
Ingenuity of God's creation
Though life never did play her a good card
Ingrained within her is a heart of gold

Resemblance of an angel
One of its kind
Heavenly beauty etched in my mind
Held in my memory as the eighth world wonder
A precious sight to behold
Nothing on earth could match her splendour
Inspiration to my life.

HEY... ITS BEEN AWHILE...

Just one day into this long weekend of mine, I received a call from my best buddy from college. He was the kind of guy who would not call for no reason so I answered his call with great expectance. "Hey Bernard... There is a class gathering this weekend, wanna come along?" Those words immediately weighed me down. After all, what I can remember of my class in college is as little as what I had learnt since entering the NS, National Service for short (Nonsensical Service for me), a phase in which innocent young men are captured by force to enter this unfortunate service sector. Though it is meant to instil some national pride in us young men, I do not see how it can be achieved by doing this. But I digress. I asked for some time to consider about the gathering as I was torn between going and not going, and promised to get back to my buddy soon.

For all I know, the enjoyment of the long weekend had been taken away from me as all that filled my mind was to think about whether to go for that little gathering of mine. I weighed the pros and cons, thought about what better things to do besides reuniting with my college classmates and even tried to formulate presentable yet reasonable excuses if my final decision was not to turn up at the gathering. The reason for this big hoo-ha was quite simple. Those classmates of mine were not your usual classmates. To put it simply, they gave me a sense of distrust and impressed upon me that they were my classmates just for the sake of being my classmates, unlike some of my friends whom I really consider as close, clean-cut friends. It may just be me being slightly introverted but one can tell a true friend from a fiend. There were certain incidents which put some of my classmates in a difficult spot and which I felt certainly could have been avoided. Come to speak of, there was another incident too in which I was involved with (unwillingly) and its haste conclusion simply disgusts me. I am not one to bear grudges but there is a saying that goes 'You can forgive but never forget'. Yes, when people come together there are bound to be wrongings and misunderstandings but these so-called 'misunderstandings' do not stop coming. A deeper interaction with my classmates reveals much about their innermost thoughts and the revelations are shocking. Almost each and every one of them will have displeasing opinions about a certain person. I certainly think that one could live with lesser enemies.

And once people sharing the same opinions and attitude come together, they form something called a clique. The ones left over who do not belong in any cliques happen to be those who tend to stay neutral, and I belong to one of them. This leaves me with nothing to talk about with the rest of my scheming classmates, only the two or three innocent neutrals. News was that the two or three neutrals' attendance at the gathering was yet to be confirmed and I was left in a dilemma. My best buddy had to be there as he was pressed to go.

I began to think reasonably. I must say this doesn't happen very often with me. They were after all, my college friends who, fortunately or unfortunately, spent the past two years with me. We may not have gone through thick or thin but we did rode through the rough college course together. Having shared joy and sorrow, I have to learn to accept that they were once part of my life before. Since it was lunch on a Sunday, I suppose it was no harm to see them again, to relive the old times. That last piece of thinking got me really glad for my maturity had began to show a year into young adulthood. I had found a conclusion to my dilemma.

It was a beautiful sunny Sunday as I awoke. I slept late into the morning and went ahead with my breakfast nearing the afternoon. After which, I proceeded to indulge myself in my latest acquisition, Winning Eleven 8. They may be my classmates but to leave them in my memories would be satisfying enough for me.