Positively Negative vs Negatively Positive

It has been brought to my attention that this particular blog has been a tad too dark and depressing for some. To me, instead of describing it as depressing, it is an outlet where I can let off some steam in a bid to save my sanity and express my vindictive self, for I personally believe that a crime of heinous proportions had been committed against me and a huge amount of unfairness have been dealt to me. It is as similar to a horrendously bad decision made where you get relegated just because of some shady dealings of other clubs... in addition to the FA siding with that perpetrator of a football club and handing them only a fine. Hmm... What would Ken McCabe do? Pretty much the same here I guess, except maybe a little more whiney. As it is, I totally understand how Sheffield United felt.

Well to begin with, lets look at this negative criticism in a positive light, it actually shows that a) contrary to my beliefs, this blog still has readership, b) these people actually care about its contents. This could be attributed to a difference in opinions, thinking or simply just the way we are sociologically brought up and integrated into society. Anyway, like they always say, it is variety among people that makes society interesting as a whole. Suffice to say, I am not about to give this humble blog a drastic facelift by adding smiley emoticons and flowers everwhere, making it all gay and cheery, but just a slight change in its direction will do.

So, as it is, I shall start on the positives of life. I guess the reason why the entries may seem depressing to some could be because of the nature of the entries’ content, which has been roughly about many, many undeniable facts of life, or rather my life, as I have began to grasp. And as I have discovered, these are dark cruel truths of life. In life’s path, there are bound to be certain paths that are not meant for us to take, and I have learnt to appreciate the process of understanding, giving up and acceptance of reality. It has been said that just as God closes a path for you, another better path will definitely open up. And instead of emphasizing on the "why", I have learnt to enjoy the beauty of it and appreciate the surrounding scenery on this new journey. Just go along with destiny and the path will seem much easier.

And therefore comes the need for a channel to release some steam and pent-up frustration occasionally, which of course majority would be negative, in order to cherish and treasure the positives that come about, sort of like the side effects of withdrawal symptoms. Constantly having to give up and readapting our socio-psycho selves to fit our environment can be a arduous chore. As if Murphy's Law has chosen to establish itself in my reality, the wrong just keeps multiplying itself; the arduous chore just becomes herculean when you are constantly reminded visually every now and then of something you wish you could just forget totally.

In a way similar to yin and yang, a delicate balance exists between the positives and negatives in life. Without sadness, we would not know what happiness is about; without hate, we would not know love; without betrayal, we would not understand trust; and without knowing wrong, we would not know how to define what is right, vice versa. And in order for me to move on, it is a preference of mine to retain those memories that have been deeply embedded in my mind, and to enhance its value and beauty with the accompaniment of good music and wonderful lyrics. Whenever a wonderfully composed and written song touches me, a certain part of my memory closely associated with that song would instinctively jump out of my mind and that song would be ingrained together with that piece of memory, etched somewhere in my mind, hence the reason for those song-cum-lyrics entries. Just a melancholic way to beautify the memories, no matter how sad they may be.

However, this does not mean that I do not notice the positive and wonderful things that happen in life everyday. I am constantly reminded of them everyday, even as I write my blog here. Having the ability to move freely; to feel, think, smell, taste; to study and understand humans and behaviour through sociology; to have the accompaniment of my few close friends; to have the honour of having true friends who are concerned and their criticism, acting like a wake-up call for me; to drive around when I get the chance to; to hit a good forehand tennis stroke and hearing a satisfying crisp sound of the tennis racket hitting the ball; attending mass and understanding the sermon; lastly, to wake up every morning.


Well, to the uninformed, it is totally understandable that certain opinions may be formed without a clear knowledge of the context and nature upon reading my entries, though Fabius got it absolutely correct when he guessed whose ass I wanted to kick so badly (I guess it was idiot-proof). But thanks to Xy for bringing my attention to this ‘problem’, branding my blog a depressing space and to Serene who actually thought I sounded “despo” (?!?) seemed to have done the trick for me to clear the final hurdle. After all, what I went through was indeed a very disappointing, traumatizing, repulsive and scandalous affair, and I would not wish it upon anybody else. As appalling and disgusting it may be, I tried to make the best out of it and withdrew myself from the situation in a graceful manner, for I wanted to retain the best part of those memories. It may have taken quite some time, but I think I have managed to do it. Life is pretty short, try to make it beautiful.

Well, remaining positive in the face of negative circumstances and seeking the positives out of negative comments - that is truly being courageous when adversity comes knocking on your door and drawing out the positives in life.