A Leap of Faith Away From A Month of Shock

Well it has been a month of shock and changes. First shock that hit me was the realisation that there are 29 days this month, which partly explains my deliberate attempt to blog an entry on this day. So much for the ordinary man attempting to celebrate insignificant details of daily life to mark the developmental change in one's life cycle. The shock involved in this long February (well, longer by one more day) was of such tremendous magnitude that even the usual font I selected looks different.

The second shock was the sudden revival of my blog's popularity and demand for new entries. I actually have 2 requests (yes 2 requests!), not 1 but 2, request to see a new entry. I never dreamt that this day would actually arrive, for it is as rare as Singapore winning the bid to host something big in 2010 and having a terrorist set loose in our midst. Wait, these did happen... Which has left me reeling in even more shock.

To be honest, all the hype about the youth olympic games did not excite me at all for I see it as a poor attempt to deflect public attention from the earlier proposed plan of Singapore 2010, which is a blueprint drawn out for Singapore's football squad to make it to the finals of the World Cup. If that has no realistic chance of happening, the sports council figured that something must be done to avoid a barrage of complains from the incensed public pointing out what a bore Singapore is. But anyway, kudos to whoever made this YOUTH olympic possible for it may finally make us famous and people will finally realise that Singapore is, in fact, not a part of China! On the other hand though, the situation may be made worse given the fact that there is Beijing 2008 for the Olympics and Singapore 2010 for the youth olympics, as the close proximity of the two olympic games may reinforce the wrong ideas that some people hold, that Singapore is, in fact, some part of China. Well, shit happens.

Contradictory and confusion are currently the dominators in my life right now, as you can see from the olympic games proposition earlier, as I attempt to complete a 3-page (yes not 1, not 2 but 3) philosophy essay. I never had to endure so much pain writing an essay before and I will be honestly very very glad when it is all done and dusted. As it is, fatigue fills my mind to the brim as I have also just completed a 11-page social work essay. Just another week in an undergraduate's life...

The shock for February is not over. On the 22nd (i.e. 22/2/2008), I had my only tutorial of the day and proceeded to the deck for my usual lunch. Just as I was about to settle down after buying some food, a sickening cracking sound followed by a loud growl pierced the air. From where I was seated, I had the vantage point of the entire construction site of the NUS alumni site and I witnessed the 60m-tall crane crashing down. It seemed so surreal yet the impact it had was devastating. I immediately abandoned any thoughts of it being a mediated incident as the angle which it fell had pulverized some trees nearby. That instant when it fell felt like an eternity as I cast a worried glance towards the crowded bus stop (which was about 2-3m away from where the crane head landed) and the lecture theatre nearby (which was about 20m away). Upon first look, I was shocked but I assured myself that nobody must have been injured as the site under the crane was just an empty piece of ground, with not much activity going on. After talking with a contractor who was evacuated from the construction site and knowing more about the accident, I discovered that 3 people had been killed and 2 injured. The news of these deaths struck me hard as I could only stand and look on in a daze. I find it difficult to believe that at the moment which I was eating, 3 unfortunate souls lost their lives just about 100m away. Having witnessed such a disaster, my perspective of life has definitely changed as the sheer fragility of life strikes me. I have to learn to appreciate the opportunity of living and experiencing stuff everyday now, even all the shit that comes with it, as some others who want to may not have the chance to do so. May God bless the 3 departed souls in the NUS crane accident.

The very next day, while watching a football match, the notion of cherishing whatever one has was again further drilled into my head. In the third minute of the Birmingham vs Arsenal game, Arsenal forward Eduardo had his leg broken in two places while being tackled by a Birmingham defender. On first look, it did not look that serious (just like that crane incident when I first saw it) but the pictures of the bad tackle was horrifying. Eduardo had broken and dislocated his ankle in what the surgeons had called it a compound fracture. Sometimes I am glad for my decision to play tennis instead of football as some of these injuries in football can be really really nasty.

Moving onto a lighter note, February has taught me that life sometimes unknowingly paves the path for me gradually, no matter what problems present itself. And, the right time will definitely present itself for a particular desire you have been hungry for before, which you may have already forgotten about it or given it up. I have never been so sure about anything before but I am a 100% sure that PS is trying to avoid me like the plague. It breaks my heart to realise this and to even note it down but this is reality. Why would anyone back away from a bus that they were intending to board and when they were just only three steps away from the bus entrance? Well, the answer must be because they saw somebody who seriously disgusts them and who had just boarded the bus before them. Yes, that person is in fact (me) and sad to say, it really sucks to be me.

Nonetheless, the sociology of tourism module presented me with the chance to get to know Irys better as we have to complete a research study together. My memory of Irys was that I used to be crazy over her and even joined a camp with another friend in hope of getting the chance to know her back in year 1. That did not turn out too well and I have moved away from that turbulent year ever since. Now, having the opportunity to work with her with my feelings already detached from my mind, I must say that she is really a fun person to be with and an amazing, organized worker, which complements my style perfectly. Hopefully, our pairing will make this research a success.

Looking forward, may I MARCH on (pun fully intended) strongly and find the peace within myself to cherish whatever I have. In addition, may I get the inspiration to select the best and appropriate presents for the huge number of 21st birthday-friends that I have.