Virulent Day

Having the luxury and fortune of having no lessons at all today, I get the extra little bit of time to dump some of my thoughts here. Makes moving around a little less burdensome, at least with a clearer mind. Somehow or rather, this particular Thursday just does not feel like any other Thursdays, for there seems to be an air of dread, boredom and resignation that is stronger than usual. Then it dawned upon me that it must be valentine's day, the deadliest day for those individuals who have yet to attain that glorified state of being as defined by the social.

I find it highly amusing that, just about 2-3 weeks ago, having no idea of what possessed me, I embarked on a wonderful plan (I thought it was wonderful at that time) to try to make my presence felt with another girl before it went oh-so-horribly wrong. Back then, I had the guts to even fantasize about looking forward to this day when I assumed I should have the chance to snag a date with her, for I had 2-3 weeks back then to do so. Fast forward to 2-3 weeks later, and I find myself sitting at home blogging away, planning what readings to do and which assignments to start, maybe going for a run later before dragging my ass to work at night. So it seems that this day was planned for me a long time ago. So its just me, myself and I on this dreary Thursday.

On the bright side, I get my time to myself, I get to blog (bleah), I get to avoid being charged exorbitantly by evil restaurants looking to overcharge dummies today, I do not have to plan for something so meticulously and end up not meeting somebody else's expectations, I get to observe people's nonsensical behaviours that society prescribes and best of all, I get to be myself. This is what happens when you get left alone for too long, so much so that I feel a slight uneasiness and discomfort when being with somebody else that I have yet to know better.

Yet, I cannot deny that a part of me still wants to get up close and personal with the elusive PS. Nonetheless, if that does not happens, life has to go on and it is rising above human cravings that makes oneself a better being. I learnt this from a book that I picked up at the central library entrance as it was Buddhism week, and a book titled "What's the purpose of life?" caught my attention. I felt it was interesting to look and learn about other religions and their way of life as a Catholic. Gaining a multi-perspective insight about life would definitely help in one's quest for improvement.

Chinese New Year has come and gone, and that marks the starting point where assignments, research studies and projects take off. Hopefully, everyone of them, individual essays, partner-project or large group project (SC 2216 & PH 1101E & SC 2205, SC 2217 and GEK 1012 respectively) will all be a success as I bid to secure a 2nd upper grade that seems realistic and achievable only via this semester.

Moving on, I believe everything will fall into place gradually, as I learn to live pretty much for today and let tomorrow take care of itself. Putting aside the PS setback and my cousin and his girlfriend's attempt to matchmake me with "Cloverfield", I will emerge a better person when this day comes to an end.

Reminiscing about November 2nd 2007, January 14th 2008...