Congratulations to the perpetrator in question and similarly to myself. After much struggle coming to terms, I felt I had made the wise decision in pulling out. I have completed my home-coming transition, no doubt a topsy-turvy one bringing with it a roller-coaster ride of emotions. You can never imagine something happening that is too close for comfort, or rather so very near home. A picture taken from my friend's blog: it has a no entry sign, complete with words, "wrong way go back". It really sums up my predicament now - I lost my directional sense, lost my way and ended up in a dead end.
Credit to Fab for his constant supply of fart jokes, crude humour and a morale boosting "That's RIIIGHT!", to Xue for inducing a short-term memory upon me after knowing my troubles and also credit to my found-again aussie friend Felicia for an eye-opener regarding freedom of expression, "fuck, why bother with self-censorship?", learning much from her exemplary blog.
Rather, it was more of a game being involving players of different calibres. I have always been a passive player in the game of fate, a lower league from the game of love, hence I could never cope with the top flight pressure. The suspicious wheelings and dealings, unscrupulous tactics employed by players who were accustomed to the harsh reality, were never in my book. I came up short against an opponent, who was resourceful, scheming or you could say simply unprincipled.
It was a pity though, for the setting was not in England, or this incident could have came out tops in the new reality show that was about to showcase football's dirtiest transfer secrets cleverly hidden by certain managers, who appeared to be ready to pounce on every single opportunity available to acquire shortlisted players. I would be extremely grateful and indebted to the reporter who went undercover for the sake of exposing these dirty deeds if my case was involved too, it seems fate has avoided me again.
Something that I've learnt was to never commit yourself to the cause, drawing your tactics on the board. Tactics can go wrong at times, worse still if they have been exposed. The opposition might step up a gear after gaining valuable knowledge of your strategies which could lead to them pipping you to the win. Fortunately or unfortunately, it has already happened. Still, for formalities' sake and for my sake and everybody else's, the show has to go on.
Picking myself up, I have chosen not to stoop to the perpetrator's level of integrity, after all the ball IS in his court, I am on away ground and the arguments are against my interest. Well, nothing to be upset about, I told myself. Achieving excellences elsewhere could enrich my mind further. What is important is that I have been cured, that is it. Man shall not be tempted by greed. Enough is enough. I will just remain a passive player in the game of fate, taking in the beautiful sights and sounds, save the occasional bump on the road, as it brings me to my destination. Live life I shall deem it to be and live strong.
